it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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