I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
