It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
