oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
