So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
