Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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