Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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