maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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