I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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