Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
