He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
