How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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