a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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