is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
