speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wish my penis had a tongue
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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