whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize