he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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