don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize