The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
