my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
