Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
