I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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