Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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