Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
