There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
