what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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