Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
