Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
