singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
