the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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