So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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