I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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