Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
