At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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