we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it hurts more in the daytime
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize