Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
