He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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