So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
