I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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