I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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