Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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