I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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