She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
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She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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