how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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