If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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