cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There r osticjed everywhere
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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