remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
