Quick, to the slutcave!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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