I can tuck mytits in my pants
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Mom said you looked used
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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