I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
