Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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