can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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