Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
It's Friday. Sex?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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