i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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