ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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