so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
