Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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