I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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