It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
