why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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